An odd article recently popped up on my BBC news feed that there is a guy in Sweden who practices therapeutic shibari on people who may benefit from being bound. It immediately piqued my interest and the submissive side of me waited patiently and breached the subject to Dad that same day. For those who just joined my blog, Dad has been very adamant and very careful about not doing any “kink” related activities between him and I. He’s more than happy to answer any questions Hubby and I have relating to kink, but he actively avoids that type of relationship between him and I.
That and along with not being able to assign Dad any other lables other than Dad has been a huge source of frustration to her, the submissive. So when I tentatively asked him if he’d be interested in tying me up in a platonic way just to quiet my mind, I wasn’t expecting much other than another firm “no”. To my surprise, he agreed. The door finally cracked open… well just a little bit.
The irony to the whole situation is that I am so used to Dad saying no, I don’t know what to react when he said yes. Her mind is not racing in a sub frenzy way as I would’ve expected. She is actually approaching this in a calm and rational manner. She communicated with rest of me and we approached Hubby with the news. Initially she was sure she wanted it and needed it, but as we sat down and talked more, we realized the danger of it and she grew hesitant and called it off with Dad. Until Hubby and I are both okay, we will not proceed. That’s the rule set by Dad and she wants to dig deep to see if Hubby is truly okay with that.
You see, currently Hubby is not actively engaged with the submissive side of me. To be frank, he don’t really understand her. He’s grown somewhat apathetic towards her as she‘s mostly taken care of by Dad. Hubby just, over time, grew apart from her. He is still close to the little girl and big girl part of me, but he has little to no connection to her. She is worried that if she was to allow Dad to tie her up, she‘d grow more distant from Hubby and closer to Dad. Therefore putting a strain on the marriage. It’s a real danger. she knows it, Hubby knows it, and Dad knows it as well. An physical act of submission can be extremely sacred to her. Had expressed to Hubby that even a simple act of kneeling by Dad’s side (if Dad allows) can have a profound impact on her psyche. If Hubby remains apathetic towards her, then she’d rather forego her desires and preserve the marriage…As painful as it maybe for her, it will be more painful if our marriage goes down the drain.
That talk seemed to have triggered something in Hubby. He expressed that he will no longer hide from her and will at least try to understand her. Whether or not he will get “It” does not really matter that much anymore. As long as Hubby is actively engaging with her and trying to understand her, she will feel more comfortable with trying therapeutic bondage with Dad.
At this point, it’s up to Dad to decide what to do and it’s up to Hubby to put in the effort in understanding her. As far as she goes, she is just happy that Dad has yielded a little to her desire. She is just simply content at current turn of events and dared not to ask for more. Looking forward to Hubby’s reintroduction to her, and looking forward to what the future will hold.