If you type “Platonic D/s relationship” in Google or Fetlife or any other web sites, the results that come up are often of little value. I’ve been doing a lot of research on that topic, since my relationship with Daddy is not completely Daddy/little nor is it full blown D/s complete with whips and chains. My curious mind wants to find something that fits. I want to learn more and know more. I want to understand. I want to define that relationship so that I can explain what it is. By understanding, I can help others like me who are seeking such relationships. I am afraid a single post is not going to cover all. But down the rabbit hole we go, if you are willing to explore.
Keep in mind, each relationship is unique. Some questions or concerns are better left to the parties envolved to explore and discover. What I am writing here are some things that I noted and feel comfortable to share. Hope by writing this, I’ll be able clear your mind as well as mine.
From the very beginning, Dad has been clear to me that there cannot be any sexual understone to our relationship. He’s firm on that rule and he’d stop me in my tracks if any topics come remotely close to anything that may undermine my marriage. At times, I felt extremely frustrated. Because, I too, want to play. I want to claim him as MY Dominant. My Sir. There lies the danger though. That kind of thinking will eventually destroy my marriage. Both Dad and I know that, so we do our best to avoid going down that path. When I periodically fail to understand, Dad would patiently hold my hand and guide me back to the right path.
What exist between Dad and I is profound. Something that I, at times, struggle to understand. Three years ago, I went to him for guidance and leadership. One topic led to another, we just connected. I asked him to adopt me as his daughter, he agreed and turned around to say I adopted him instead. Guess at this point, we adopted each other into our lives that we each can no longer live without. At one point, we even agreed that we are soul bound. Yes, that can happen out side of marriage. People can be soulmates without getting married and without having sex. Took me a while to wrap my head around that, but it made sense.
He is a natural leader and I respond to him almost effortlessly. There was never a need for him to coerce me into doing anything. He didn’t need to treaten me with a spanking or any punishments. He’d make a suggestion that betters my life, I’d usually follow without much compliant. Mind you, some of those suggestions do require me to work extra or sacrifice some. The end results, however, have always been rewarding. My relationship with Hubby is now a lot more stable. I developed a habit of tracking our finances each day. So other than our mortgage, we are completely debt free. Heck, I even lost 20lbs during the process. Climbed a hill the other day without huffing and puffing was a good feeling. One good thing led to another, my life is a lot more stable now compared to 3 years ago. Now, that’s something to tout about in face of a pandemic.
Having said all of that, I walked into Dad’s world when he was at his lowest point in life. He is human just like any of us. I can see his weakness clear as day. Instinctually, I want to make his life better as he did with mine. You know how macho men can be when faced with their weakness. There was resistance at first, but as trust and respect grew, he is more accepting of my help now. He call it nagging or hagging or what have you, I have my ways to make sure his needs are met as well.
He leads, I follow. He is my protector, I am his safety net. All of this can be done without sex or play. I am starting to unlearn some of the things I know about D/s and adjust to his style of parenting and leadership. A helpful tidbits for those of you who are still interested in platonic D/s relationship, punishment should only be the last resort. Both Dominant and submissive have failed in one way or another if punishment is needed to absolve a problem.
That’s all for today. Shall ask Dad more questions when mind is less tired. Stay safe everyone.