Mandarin word of the day: 父亲 (Father)

An interesting thought came up the other day while talking to Dad on the phone. We were talking about how ecstatic I was walking inside an Asian market when we visited Dad a few weeks back. I was amused by the fact that I was the only Chinese girl trailed by two white guys. While Hubby was no stranger to asian markets, it was Dad’s first time visiting one. Him being a redneck and all made the trip even more amusing and memorable as I twirled around the market showing him what a bitter melon was, what my favorite childhood candies look like, and how preserved duck eggs appear dark in color… I was casually conversing with the clerk in mandarin as we checked out, a thought gradually came about and materialized the other day when we revisited that particular memory.

You see I am still adjusting to the fact that I now have a father who cares for and loves me as if I am his own. The transition for him to have a second daughter has been effortless and natural. However, for me, I still struggle at times. I thought to the period when I was with my previous father, how uncomfortable and fearful I was of him. There was no cultural nor language barrier between him and I, yet we were distant. There’s a lot of pain lingering from that relationship. So naturally I am slightly reserved with this one. Afterall, how could a redneck with minimal knowledge of Chinese culture understand me let alone be my father? Yet as unlikely as the arrangement may seem, our relationship grows stronger each day as we talk about our daily lives, explore our strength and weakness, share our thoughts, participate in our shenanigans, and more…

The thought, as I told Dad, was that if I were to introduce him as my Dad in mandarin to other people such as to that store clerk, there will be this sense of finality to my relationship with him. To this day, I’ve been referring him as Dad in English but never in manderin. To refer to him as 父亲 (father) or 爸爸(dad), in my mind, will psychologically and permanently replace my previous dad. It’s odd, I know, but instead of uttering those words with distain or trepidation, I’ll be casually saying “他是我爸 (he is my Dad)” with sense of love and pride. I’d say I’ve reached a milestone for my mind to come up with that thought. It means my mind is more at ease and is healing from my past. Eventhough, there are still some kinks to work out here and there, but I am happy where I am. Eachday when I wake up knowing that my loved ones are safe and sound is another beautiful day!