30 Days of Submission: Day 2

Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?

Initially I thought this is going to be an easy question to answer. The more I thought about it the more I came to realize that the answers I am going to provide shortly has nothing to do with power exchange. However, they are absolutely crucial to which the power exchange are built upon. So let’s explore shall we? 

A better way to phrase this question is to whom do you respect? And why? 

We all have someone or people whom we look up to and want to emulate. They can be your parents, relatives, teacher, mentor or what have you. Come up with a list of why before you go search for your Dominant. That list will be a compass for you, because power exchange can be intoxicating and make your brain go mush and over look certain red flags. It’s better go in prepared and call out bullshit when you sense one. 

Submission for me follows naturally when I deeply respect someone. I give my respect to someone who is self disciplined and motivated. Who is good at managing their time and energy in doing things that are necessary in their life. I respect someone who is wise and has the foresight to prepare for tomorrow. Who is altruistic and willing to volunteer their time to help others. I respect someone who is humble and willing to be wrong. Who is organized and meticulous in that they do. Who pays attention to details. Who takes their time to listen and understand. I pay my respect those who believes one should never stop learning and growing. And I think that’s my main list of reasons why I respect someone. Pretty sure I had missed some, but you get the idea. 

Why is this important for me?

My core desire as a human being is to be a better version of myself each and every day. That applies to my skill set, my knowledge base, my personal conduct and such. I am keenly aware of my short comings and at times I get depressed and beat myself up over them. I am my own worst enemy and in those times and I need someone to pull me out of my depression and remind me that I can do better. I don’t want someone to tell me what I want to hear. I want someone to be firm with me and call out my own bullshit and push me to improve. Dominant who shares the same philosophy as me works well in this scenario, because the best reward I can ask for is his pride in me. “I am proud of you.” “You are a good girl.” Speak volumes to my submissive heart. 

All of this has nothing to do with submission in a marriage or in bedroom. Think for me, D/s is more of a spiritual journey. Thus the complexity behind my thoughts and answers. Not sure if I am making much sense, because I know this is not yet a complete answer. Ask me again ten years from now. Hopefully I will come up with a more coherent thought.

6 thoughts on “30 Days of Submission: Day 2

  1. “My core desire as a human being is to be a better version of myself each and every day. That applies to my skill set, my knowledge base, my personal conduct and such. I am keenly aware of my short comings and at times I get depressed and beat myself up over them.”

    I am 100% the same way. I take every failure as an obstacle to overcome the next go around and as an opportunity to do better next time. It may sound weird, but I” Dom” my own feeling as lot. I will push down and find my inner strength and pull on its reserves to accomplish my tasks and goals at hand if I do not have enough in my current reserves to do what needs to be done. If that makes much sense at all.

    It’s something I struggle with when talking to more “emotional struggle bus” Doms. I don’t get their lack of ability to do the same. In my mind, if I am able to, you should be too, despite consciously knowing we’re all built different. I’m super emotional, but I can’t let that get in the way of day to day tasks or if I need to complete an emotional undertaking. Compartmentalize the bad thing, deal with it in pieces or fully when you have time, pish posh. Done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Mistakes and failures are our best teachers in life. Like you said, we have to get over our egos to learn and grow. The trick is not to be so harsh on yourself. Need to find that balance.

      I feel like as a sub, I am lucky in that Dad can help me find that balance. On many occasions, I do see him beating himself up for a mistake he made. Don’t really know what to do to help him feel better in those moments.

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s