Day 2: Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom?
Initially I thought this is going to be an easy question to answer. The more I thought about it the more I came to realize that the answers I am going to provide shortly has nothing to do with power exchange. However, they are absolutely crucial to which the power exchange are built upon. So let’s explore shall we?
A better way to phrase this question is to whom do you respect? And why?
We all have someone or people whom we look up to and want to emulate. They can be your parents, relatives, teacher, mentor or what have you. Come up with a list of why before you go search for your Dominant. That list will be a compass for you, because power exchange can be intoxicating and make your brain go mush and over look certain red flags. It’s better go in prepared and call out bullshit when you sense one.
Submission for me follows naturally when I deeply respect someone. I give my respect to someone who is self disciplined and motivated. Who is good at managing their time and energy in doing things that are necessary in their life. I respect someone who is wise and has the foresight to prepare for tomorrow. Who is altruistic and willing to volunteer their time to help others. I respect someone who is humble and willing to be wrong. Who is organized and meticulous in that they do. Who pays attention to details. Who takes their time to listen and understand. I pay my respect those who believes one should never stop learning and growing. And I think that’s my main list of reasons why I respect someone. Pretty sure I had missed some, but you get the idea.
Why is this important for me?
My core desire as a human being is to be a better version of myself each and every day. That applies to my skill set, my knowledge base, my personal conduct and such. I am keenly aware of my short comings and at times I get depressed and beat myself up over them. I am my own worst enemy and in those times and I need someone to pull me out of my depression and remind me that I can do better. I don’t want someone to tell me what I want to hear. I want someone to be firm with me and call out my own bullshit and push me to improve. Dominant who shares the same philosophy as me works well in this scenario, because the best reward I can ask for is his pride in me. “I am proud of you.” “You are a good girl.” Speak volumes to my submissive heart.
All of this has nothing to do with submission in a marriage or in bedroom. Think for me, D/s is more of a spiritual journey. Thus the complexity behind my thoughts and answers. Not sure if I am making much sense, because I know this is not yet a complete answer. Ask me again ten years from now. Hopefully I will come up with a more coherent thought.