His Title

Written by Kitty (the submissive)

This is going to be a difficult subject for me to write. So bare with me on this one…it maybe a blog full of disjointed thoughts. So i apologize ahead of time. Also when i am writing, i don’t really refer him as Dad or Daddy like my counterparts. i refer to him as sir.

Referring someone as sir or ma’am has always been an odd thing for me. Don’t really think it’s lack of respect on my part, i really think it has something to do with my cultural upbringing and my timidity. Growing up in China, i was taught to address older men as Uncle (insert last name), and older women as Auntie (insert last name). There are phrases equvilant to sir and ma’am for my adult peers, but i was too young to start using those. When I came here to America, it didn’t even cross my parents’ mind to teach me the usage of sir and ma’am. My school system had certainly failed on that aspect as well. So it’s a lesson i am learning from sir, that it’s common courtesy to address others as sir and ma’am.

Which brings up a certain reluctance on my part…i feel reluctant to do so due to my adoptive parents. When i was in China, i had no problem addressing people politely. But once i came here, i became extremely reluctant and uncomfortable to call my dad (2.0), Dad and my mom, Mom. Felt like it was an inherent protective mechanism that Kitten had devised to make herself unnoticeable. If she didn’t bring herself to their attention, she’d be left to her peace and quiet. That then expanded to other people in her parent’s circle… mom and 2.0 always thought Kitten was shy, but in reality, she was scared. As Kitten grew older i came along and i inherited that peculier trait. To this day, we still hesitate calling sir Dad or Daddy in person. It’s an ongoing problem that both Kitten and Kit face. But, for me, there is yet another layer i have to figure out myself.

For the longest time, i didn’t know how to address sir. To me, he is not my dad but my dominant. But because i am married to Hubby, my body will never completely belong to sir. Thus the inappropriate use of Sir in our D/s relationship. My mind, however, is and will always be an open book to sir. So use of sir in my mind seems inappropriate as well. So i came up with sir. The middle ground between sir and Sir. Will definitely envy the one person who gets to call sir, Sir. But that’s somewhere in the future i need not to worry about. By then, i’d probably be mature enough to let go of a fantasy that does not belong to me.

Anywhoozly, now that i’ve been calling him sir more. The title sir actually rolls off our tongue much, much, easier than Dad or Daddy. We are not trying to be willful. Just trying to work through our past trauma one “sir” or “Dad/Daddy” at a time.

6 thoughts on “His Title

  1. Hi Kitty! I just want to be sure that I am following. The man whom you call sir, and is your dominant…is this Dad 2.0? Or is this someone else altogether? I am sorry if this is a dumb question or if you covered this in a different post…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s okay nora. It’s been a while since I wrote anything about my complicated relationships. Has been lazy on writing a recap of everything. That’s my fault.

      My biological father is Dad 1.0. Don’t really know him and not planning to track him down either. My previous adoptive father is Dad 2.0. He’s domineering. Had a rough childhood growing up due to him. Dad 3.0 is my current Dad/Daddy/dominant. Can’t really claim him as my Dominant in the traditional D/s way, because I am married and he is planning to have a wife in the future. So…he is a Daddy Dom to me in the simplest term. But if for whatever the circumstance that the D/s relationship needs to go, he is still my father. That will never change.

      We are slowly and cautiously establishing our dominant and submissive relationship in away that’s morally and ethically durable. At anytime if Hubby feels uncomfortable, we’d stop and reevaluate.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Worth noting that a good parent strives to meet the needs of the child. Ever seen an 80yo lady laughing at something that she finds amusing? Those wrinkles are worn by her little girl who is busy enjoying the moment…. What is the difference between shuttling a minor to the games they love and fulfilling a need held by a child? Too many wrongly assume that a D/s relationship must involve all of the things they come here to learn about. The most committed, collared, trained mom in the world assumes the role of the dominant as she prepares the kids for school and helps them with homework doesn’t she?

    Without stepping back to see ALL of the ways we can interact and support those around us in a morally and ethically durable way, we fail to meet their needs to the best of our ability. (Nice phrase and so I borrowed it ma’am!) If this benefits her then she is stronger. If she is stronger then her relationships are (overall) stronger and she is in a better place to support those supporting her. Seems a wise thing done well!


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