It’s better to be honest, not nice than dishonest, but nice. This is an extension of having a voice. Dad always harps on it and today was my turn to be honest to Dad. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me, the people pleaser, to say something that may hurt or offend Dad. But sticking with Dad’s mantra, I went with the honest route.
We’ve all encountered this scenario at some point in life. With Christmas around the corner, giving and receiving gifts just come with the season. Inevitably, we receive a gift that may not be the best fit, what do we tell that person?! Depends on the situation right? Most of the time, I pretend I really like the gift. Took it home and never to touch it again or I may decide to re-gift that item to someone else whom I think may appreciate it more. Both are not possible options when I opened a box of kitchen knive set from Dad last night. (We decided to open gifts early this year because of our up coming trip, but that will be another story) Anywhoozly, the knives were not what I wanted nor needed…I am looking for a single Chinese chef knife not a set of knives that perform all the functions that a single knife can do…
Rewind back to last year. Dad and I had talked about a type of knife I wanted. We even went to a local butcher shop at one point to look for that particular knife. But it being a small ma and pa shop that served mostly Caucasians (no offence) an every day Chinese chef knife that can cut through bones was a foreign concept for the butcher. Since then, we never spoke of that again. Life got busy and I got distracted, getting a new knife kinda went to the bottom of my wanted list. That is, until last night.
I knew I had to tell Dad that those knives were not a good fit. He tend to follow up on many of his gifts days, weeks, and even year later. He can sniff a lie out from miles away. I had to tell the truth, because he’s going to find out one way or the other. The question is how…Knowing that when Dad send gifts, those gifts were always thoughtful and had always bettered my life in one way or another, I really had a hard time to blurt out whats on my mind. So I remembered the mantra of honest and not nice…
Today on the phone, I was about to blurt out my premade speech, Dad, as if reading my mind, reminded me of honest and not nice. “How?!” Was all I managed to ask. He just chuckled and said he knew the moment I opened that box. So, out came my thoughts and reasonings behind why those knives were not a good fit and such and such knife may be. He listened and took mental notes. As we talked more, I came to learn that he bought that set as a prompt for me to start researching for the knife I wanted. He knew he may be off the mark, but the act of gifting would be enough for me to start looking again. All of a sudden, his intention became clear and I am still amazed at his ability to lay down a path miles ahead for me to follow.
You see, last month I decided to cut back my work hours because Hubby and I are financially sound. More hours at home meant more time for me to experiment in the kitchen. Whats the most important tool an aspiring home chef need? A good quality knife. Dad saw all of that coming and he acted before I realized. So I spent my day today searching for that perfect fit while pondering the meaning of gifting.
Spoke to Hubby that finding a perfect gift should not be a chore. If we truly don’t know what the person need, just ask and seek feed backs. Treat it as a bonding experience. By understanding that gift, you understand a part of that person as well. In a way, the process of finding that gift is more valuable than the gift itself. Afterall, you can’t place a price tag on your love and care for the person who’s have a significant impact on your life.
Happy Holidays everyone.