An Itch to Write

Been having issues with wp that my posts are not posted properly. But since I want to clear my head and organize my thoughts, I’ll still write some here. If it gets read, great! if not, I’d still reach my original goal of just clearing my head.

I am a submissive by nature. No doubt with that statement. From my daily interactions with my clients and coworkers, my relationship with Hubby, to my relationship with my Dad 3.0 all revolve around my need to please others. Sometimes, I’d bend over backwards so much to make other happy, I’d wore myself out and become a person I didn’t intend to be. During those times, I need someone who can read the situation and tell me when to stop. Or redirect some of my energy to something that’s more important in my life. Someone to ground me, when I am spiraling out of control. Someone to confide with, when I am having a bad day. Someone who has the courage to tell me that I am right or wrong. Someone whom I can look up to and be like “you know what? If I am half as good or intelligent as that person, I’d be happy!”

Of course that someone I am talking about is my Dad 3.0. He has all of those above qualities and more. He has his weaknesses as well. After all he is human just like any of us. Out side of my marriage. I have wanted Dad 3.0 to be my Dominant and I want to be his submissive. It’s a subject I spoke about with him ad nauseum. The ultimate answer from him has always been a firm “No”. I often felt hurt in those conversations, but as days, weeks, and months go by, I tend to recover more quickly as I am starting to understand the reason behind his “No”.

Any D/s couple can tell you that their relationship can be charged with incredible amount of sexual tension. As Daddy has pointed out, sex or play scenes only comprise about 3-4% of any couples’ lives. Rest of the times spent together are just day to day interactions. There are good and bad days. Most of the days are just mundane. What we read about on internet and books tend to skew our perception of what a D/s lifestyle really is behind doors. Having said that, Dad did not want me as his submissive for the simple reason of the precarious nature of that arrangement. Once agreed upon, it’s a slippery slop from there. I clearly know that as I am extremely curious into any thing BDSM. That alone lies the danger to my marriage. So we agreed not to open that Pandora’s box.

That, my dear readers, leaves us 94% of our time in a father-daughter relationship. Once BDSM is taken out of the equation, things become more simple. Less land mines to step on per se. Dad still provides me with what I need to thrive. Remember the part about what I need when I am spiraling out of control? Dad is that touch stone that centers my life. He still fills a lot of the roles a good dominant should have. The relationship is there alive and strong. I am starting to realize that no special titles are needed between him and me. He is Daddy and I am his little girl. Cared for, loved for, and forever goofy and curious.

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